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Update November 29, 2007

Posted by fifenashia in Uncategorized.
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The research on the similarities between eating disorders and “weight loss” sites has been placed on hold due to intense studying for the GRE.

 I tend to go overboard and catastrophize and this is no different. So when things calm down, I’ll get right back to my personal research.

Anorexia and the layperson November 20, 2007

Posted by fifenashia in eating disorders.
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I have been thinking a lot lately of the amount of weight I had initially lost over the past two years, the emotional turmoil within that time and the amazing coincidences that my “healthy lifestyle change” and anorexia share. It’s truly scary to think about…

My journey started because I wasnt comfortable in my own skin. Why? I dunno, maybe because I have grown up a size 8 and learned early on that if you were a woman, you were to be thin and sexy to keep a man. (My mom was screwed up) and she passed these views on to me. The fact that she was always dieting and then would binge on pie and ice cream. She was unhappy in her marriage and tried to save it and herself by doing the “right thing” by her husband. (If I make a good enough meal, If I keep a clean enough house, and if I just get skinny enough than he wont have an affair and leave me). It didnt work and they are currently in the middle of a nasty divorce. Not that it’s anyone fault per se. It just wasnt meant to be. (He did cheat, but with a woman who was older, fatter, and more comfortable in her own skin) Go figure that one out.

Regardless, here I am a new mom and wife trying to figure out this grown up woman role I am to be playing. I even went to a model cattle call to reinforce my self worth and aftert recieving a call from Washington DC I had it. I was pretty and I could be a model even with the baby weight from my then 6 week old son. Was it enough? Nope…

So before long the stress of college and marriage and motherhood took its toll and I  found myself in size *gasp* 16!! So I got motivated and joined a free site to help me “change my lifestyle”! How could that be bad? So I joined up and got “serious” losing 50 pounds in the first year. Problem is, I didnt really “change my lifestyle” and some of the weight came back on.

I was devestated and I yelled at my body, and ranted at my body, called it a traitor and fell into a devestating depression. How could I ever be pretty with all this FAT on my body.

Then I found Kate and her blog Shapely Prose and I started to get some confidence back. I found Joy Nash and she was an inspiration and now here I am almost a month later and I consider myself in recovery. I had an eating disorder and instead of help, I recieved praise, and encouragement. How sick is this society when we encourage eating disorders?

So I decided to do some research, I knew I hadnt been an anorexic. But how close had I become? What similarities are there between anorexic sites and my weight loss site? I had no clue how disturbing I would find the results to be…

Epiphany November 18, 2007

Posted by fifenashia in Body Acceptance.
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So, it’s been a while since this happened to me, but I needed some time to take it in and formulate my hypothesis thoroughly.

I stepped on the scale about 2 or 3 weeks ago and as it turned out I had actually lost a few pounds. I wasn’t anticipating it, I hadn’t been trying. In fact I had been focusing on HAES and so I was eating ice cream and loving it.

So I am wondering if we stop trying to fight with our bodies and just eat in a way that is healthy AND satisfying I wonder if our bodies wouldn’t just find the size we are meant to be.

I was a size 8 in high school, yet I have changed, we all change. Feet get wider and so do asses. Life takes a toll on us and our bodies are never the same two days in a row. So perhaps if we stop fighting with our bodies and instead nourish them we could both be happier. By accepting ourselves for who we are we can focus on bigger issues, such as poverty, domestic violence and child abuse. Just a thought….

Sicko November 17, 2007

Posted by fifenashia in Politics.
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I was privileged today to have the opportunity to buy Michael Moores newest documentary “Sicko”.

I cried like a baby throughout the whole thing. The fact that our country does so little for those who need the most help is a sad testament to the current state of affairs. At first I was under the impression that this was about people who were uninsured, however I was wrong. There are some stories that show how traumatic a medical experience can be while uninsured. Such as the man who had to decide which of his two severed fingers he would pay out of pocket to reattach (he chose the ring finger for a rate of $12,000). The $60,000 middle finger went to medical waste. I cried for him. He had a great sense of humor though. I also cried for the daughter who was untreated because the hospital that the ambulance drove her to wasn’t on the HMO’s approved list (she died). And the hospitals that literally drop patients who cannot pay off in the middle of the streets with the gowns and hospital bracelets still on. I cried for the couple who had to move in with their daughter because they were bankrupt after heart attacks and cancer ravaged their bank accounts. However, the movie really showcased those who had insurance and were left broke and still ill due to the fact the insurance companies are for profit and so deny care to increase profits for the CEO’s and shareholders. 

 We are the only Industrialized nation that makes a profit off of the sick, poor, and elderly. How ridiculous it is to know that a years worth of insuance costs approximately $12,000 annually without counting the deductibles and copayments. While the rates of uninsured and underinsured rise so do the profits of the largest insurance companies. Record profits in the same quarters as record losses for the American people. How could we let this happen? How is it that we turn our backs on those who need the most help? A nation whom the majority is supposed to be ”religiously right” and “compassionate conservatives”? The politicians in our country have more American blood on their hands than any terrorist group could imagine to. So what’s a country to do?

Well, some in Washington (86 to be exact) have stepped up to put forward H.R. 676 which is a bill to put into effect Healthcare for all, noone gets left out for preexisting conditions, no one gets denied care, and no one loses their home because medical expenses have buried them. Some have claimed that “socialized” medicine will be the downfall of our country. We will give complete control to our governent and apparently that is the end of the world as we know it!! Riiiiiiiight, and it’s a good thing we found those WMD’s too!….hmmm, wait a minute…

Regardless, a number of countries actually have a universal healthcare system in place and it does not look as if they are falling into a pit of death and destruction. In fact quite the opposite seems to have happened. France and Canada and Cuba all have lower infant mortality rates than the US! Wait a minute! Cuba, a thirld world commie bastard country actually has a better chance of keeping babies alive than us, the brilliant industrialized country with the richest 1% in the world??? Somethings not right there..

The arguments however are strong. Even my ex-Canadian physical therapist argues that Canada’s healthcare system is AWFUL! You have to wait months for treatment and women DIE from breast cancer waiting for Chemo. Cause women don’t die waiting for treatment in the US? I guess it was just the guy with Kidney cancer who died waiting for treatment, because his insurance company continually denied to pay for treatments, or the 18 month old girl with a fever over 104 who was insured but ended up at the wrong hospital that was NOT on her insurance companies approved list of hospitals and so could was refused treatment and died for it. Well, to be honest I think there are horror stories in every country, and ours is no different. However, I would hazard a guess that fewer people die in Canada waiting for treatment than in the United States due to insurance company denials. On the flip side, my Canadian penpal LOVES her healthcare system and in fact has nothing bad to say about it at all! As do the United States Senators (love their health insurance plans.)

What really pushed me over the edge though was when Michael took some boats and some underinsured individuals whom the system has royally screwed and puttered over to Cuba. I remember during the making of this movie there was some talk of him in the news. Was it an arrest or a lawsuit? I cannot remember exactly. He almost lost some of his contracts though for that little stunt. What stunt? Well, the US wont treat them for under three figures, but Cuba will. Not even Cuban citizens and yet all were treated with the utmost care, respect, and kindness. One of the women actually recieved such great care that she could reduce her medicines from 9 to 4!! Another found out that her $120.00 inhaler that she was prescribed and bought in the US was sold in Cuba for $.05!!!!

Cuba is such an inspiration to me! And now I see why the US has a trade embargo. I mean, if the American People saw how an underdeveloped country actually took care of its citizens with a state of the art medical system we might get jealous, better to make us fear and hate them. While we are busy hissing at them though, they go on their way and help other underdeveloped nations set up National healthcare systems (such as Africa).

Speaking of seperating countries through propaganda, you know those dirty, stinky, American-hating rude frenchies? Yeah, well it’s no wonder the US wants you to think that, cause those lucky bastards get 5 weeks of vacation A YEAR, REQUIRED!!! Plus the medical system and daycare is provided by the government. As if thats not enough, new moms get 6 months paid maternity leave and the work week is no more than 35 hours a week, and if by chance you go over that 35 mark you are forced to take extra vacation days. There is also NO limit on sick days because unlike us, they dont actually plan on being sick, (they can be sick more than 3 days a year!) Lazy bastards, they even get government nannies for new moms (a whole 8 hours a week!) If the American people knew that, well we might want some of the action…

 Want to know the secret?

Are you sure?

Okay, come in real close

it’s top secret

Their government

*looking around*

works for

the people, not the other way around!

I know! Novel isn’t it! The French, Cuban, Canadian and Norwegions too. All of them have a government who follows democracy where if the officials don’t listen to the wants of the people, then they are *gasp* VOTED OUT! RADICAL notion, doncha think! Another big factor is that they all think human life is sacred and every person deserves to be healthy and recieve treatment when sick. Not like the Americans who only think that life is sacred when in utero.

So if you dont have a big fat bank account, or live in your mothers womb, well the US government just doesn’t want to get involved.

This is why it is so important to not be complacent. We need to step up and find out exactly who it is that represents us, and find out where they stand on the issues. And nowadays it is sooooo easy. A few clicks online and voila! All the information right there! As soon as the movie ended I went online and found out that of 8 representatives from my state, only 1 of them has signed the HR 676 bill. I have since started an email campaign where I intend to email my representatives daily from now until the New year comes in. I will email and email and snail mail and perhaps even get a petition going on campus. I will get the attention of my representatives because that is why they are there, to REPRESENT us, the people, the little man and believe it or not, WE have the POWER. Its high time we stand up and take it back!

If you have any questions on how to find your representative, email me and let me know. I’d be more than willing to help you stand up and get noticed!

The most Ridiculous rules I can find! November 8, 2007

Posted by fifenashia in Politics, Uncategorized.
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It’s a shame when our country goes so far to protect us that they end up limiting our freedoms to the point of ridiculousness.

Take for example, this poor girl who recieved 2 detentions for giving friends hugs before the weekend. This was put into effect to prevent public displays of affection. When had PDA become such an issue that a side hug squeeze warrants 2 detentions!? I remember in those younger grades my friends and I hugged and screamed when we reunited after a trip to the bathroom! Good thing I was subject to such a rule, I would have spent 2 years in detention.

In the use and abuse of drugs class I am currently enrolled in, we are discussing Over the counter drug abuse. Things such as cough medicine can be used to get a high similar to opiates. The solution, they say is to censor yet more available over the counter medicines. So first they pulled sudafed thanks to the meth heads, now cough medicine for the ignorant teens, what’s next? Are we going to outlaw air freshners? Cause kids get high on those as well! Yet both tobacco and alcohol are still legal and available for purchase despite the fact that millions of deaths can be attributed to them!

Where does it stop? In an effort to “protect” us, we are just being limited and yet the drug heads are still finding ways to get high, and the meth heads are creating new ingredient lists and the huffers just get another household object to inhale. And little girls in middle school get detentions for hugging. Makes a lot of sense…

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